Me-time. When we become parents, it seems there will never be time for the things we love again. Even getting the daily essentials done can seem like a monumental struggle! While our children are wonderful blessings, meeting the needs of our families can feel overwhelming at times. When you add in seasons of sickness in the home and the stream of unexpected errands, finding time to unwind and be in your own zone can feel like a fantasy. As a homeschool family, the challenge increases. I often read about parents burned out from the demands of homeschooling, child rearing and housekeeping. How can we keep perspective, and find some magic me-time?
Keeping Prespective
Firstly, let’s not get carried away with the world’s idea of me-time. Generally, society seems to have lost all understanding of the blessing that comes from serving and pouring ourselves into others. It might just be me, but everywhere I turn, I see people rejecting a life of service in exchange for a life completely focused on self.
Jesus definitely left us a model of rest. There were several times when he withdrew from the crowds to pray to his father, and to seek some time out. Before that, the Ten Commandments provided the Sabbath. God knows humans are designed to need regular times of rest and restoration. However, we’re called to be working in our homes, our vocations, and for God’s kingdom in-between the rests. There’s a balance.
Mini Me-Times
My strategy for carving out me-time, is to make it mini. Why make me-time mini? When you make me-time mini, you can look forward to it without feeling guilty you’re not tending to other things during that time. It’s only a small amount of time.
It’s also achievable. When you imagine the kids are going to sleep/play for an hour, and you make elaborate me-time plans, you can get agitated and annoyed when they invariably don’t work out. Mini me-times have much less chance of being interrupted and shelved.
Finding Me-Time in the Parenting Years
New-Born and Toddler Days
Let’s just get it out of the way. Unless you have older children to help you, or a super support community, there will be little to no me-time in the first couple of years of parenting. And seriously, if you do have a willing support network, or older children who can help you carve out some mini me-time, take it unashamedly!
I wish somebody had just straight up told us that me-time was done for a while, and taught us to embrace that short time for what it was. Instead of regularly looking around at our home despairing at the chaos and wondering if I would ever get a moment to myself, I would have spent more time joyfully playing with my baby. I would have read her more stories. I would have put the worship music on during feed times and just praised the Lord. I would have cherished it more, even though it was hard.
Fast forward almost 10 years. Now my little baby bakes her own cupcakes, plays Mozart on the piano, and sometimes ditches my together-time suggestions to go and chill on the sofa with a novel.
There is little hope of me-time in the very early years, but you are nurturing a tiny life! What an achievement! What a blessing! It really is just a short time.
Me-Time After the Toddler Years
Some people might disagree, but in my experience, kids can be taught to spend time sitting quietly beside you for 15 minutes after three y.o. Time to get some regular mini me-time happening! Your child might try and build a block tower, or play with some playdo. Maybe watch a cartoon, depending on your TV stance.
Teaching our children that mum and dad need quiet moments, and time to do things they like too, is a good thing.
What Can You Do With 15 Minutes?
Alot, actually. Do you miss long lunches or chats with friends? Slot in a 15 minute phone call for a boost. Do you miss reading books? Do you want to learn an instrument? Read or practice an instrument for 15 minutes a day.
Me, I like craft. I have been learning embroidery and crochet on and off this year. As a homeschool mum, keeper of the house, and children’s ministry worker, time is sparse. I have learned though, that 15 minutes can be so refreshing! Does it take an age to complete any project with 15 minutes a day? Yes. Does it matter, no. Now that my kids are older, I can often stretch the time to 30 minutes before a meal time or need comes calling.
This is my beginner curtain embroidery in process…
This is my crochet blanket moving very slowly…
The process may be slow, but the short time I spend on these crafts blesses my soul, and gives me a moment to stop thinking about the dishes, the laundry and next weeks’ lesson plans. It’s something for me to look forward to during the day, and allows me to switch off and refresh my mind.
So, where can you carve out some mini me-time for some moments of refreshment, without feeling guilty? What activities or hobbies do you long for that you enjoyed before parenting? You won’t be able to get huge projects done quickly, or spend any long, lazy afternoons like you used to, but embrace that too.
Children are a blessing from the Lord, and before we know it, we’ll be looking like this…..
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And our kids will be the ones looking like this…
